The pains of being an adult

For the first time in many weeks, I broke down in the midst of dinner. It had been a horrendous week of falling sick, recovering slightly and then becoming sicker in a sickening, cyclical manner. I couldn't concentrate during work because I couldn't stop hearing the dull thumping of my own heartbeat in my head and a fever way burning a through way between my eyes. What made everything a thousand times worse was the fact that I was no longer living with my parents. I WAS IN MY OWN HOME, ALONE AND AFRAID. I had to drag my painful body to the kitchen and make something to feed myself so that I wouldn't starve. I had to endure long daylight hours of solitude when the Husband is out at work, because there just the both of us here. There wasn't someone who was going to come check on me while I sleep, because I've only got myself here. The reality of moving out hit me so real and so hard, I couldn't help the tears coming to terms with what I have lost without having the time to fully appreciate it.