As a wife, as a partner, as a friend

To be honest, I haven't gotten used to being a wife to someone, and I wonder if it's because I've been assuming that role ever since I met the man whom I now call my husband. Some would draw a clear demarcation for the different roles they assume when they cross those invisible boundaries - from courtship to engagement and then to marriage - but I guess I like to put a lot on my plate in our relationship.

The past year has been nothing short of being magical - our solemnization, kick starting our preps for the wedding banquet, heading to new travel spots, watching our love abode stacking up steadily... At the same time, we would always take out time to reminisce on the past experiences, laughing over the silly things we did in school, collecting common childhood moments and preserving priceless milestones.

The next 9 months will be nothing short of surprises, painful planning and decision making as we anticipate our abode and our wedding celebrations. But one thing's for sure - we'll always have each other's back.

As one, forever and always.

Five

And we are five. :)

I'm often rendered breathless whenever I attempt to jog my memory through our past 60 months together and the days leading up to the beginning our our courtship and finally engagement; each figment of memory runs as deep and wide as the other, no matter how long ago they have been. Just like how I sidelined you the day we first met, how you had won my attention over with your persistence and love for music, how you first asked me to be with you, how you got down on one knee exactly one year ago and promised an eternity to us... the memories never seem to fade with time, even after having come so far.

And with this being our last anniversary before we become lawful man and wife, I gave some good thought to the gift I wanted to present to us. The promise of eternity should be the fundamental value of the gift, with everything else being secondary. I wanted it to be something we would still treasure when we're 80 going 90 and hobbling around hand-in-hand. I wanted something that will never grow old and crumble away with time, just like this love. And I wanted something we'll both be able to hold close to heart at times when we're not around each other. And so I got what I got for us.

For the Math is simple - You and I are one.

Love is made of Februaries

You should have guessed that Julie has been extremely busy for the past month. You're only half-correct. I was busy AND lazy.

Just a mini-recap, because I hate to retrospect.

XQRJ finals. It has been awe-inspiring, especially for budding musicians. Plus it was an ass-whipping for lazy ex-vocalists like me to remind us of how miniscule we are.




It all started on Valentine's Day 3 years ago, didn't it? This year I had a particularly difficult time trying to conceive a gift idea because this year's Valentine's Day happened to fall on the week I had crazy deadlines to meet. Jack gave me a scrapbook of our photos for the past 2 years. :)



And I made these for him. Gosh I know they look kind of on the hideous side, but I kinda like the way they stick together. :)



... plus I guess I'll never understand why Valentine's Day (or any other occassion) means that you should splurge on flowers. For a fact, florists will simply leverage on it and charge astronomical figures for them and, more importantly, it's simply unfair to base your love on the sacrificing of other lifes. Have you ever thought of flowers as life forms as well? Or does your love override their ride to live? Or would you like to argue that these beautiful things exist for the mere fact that love is selfish? GAH go on with your ways; karma will come back to haunt you and your relationship.

Plus Jack cooked. :)

More importantly, we're three. :)

Some people find it so difficult to stay in love with one person, because they never stop trying to find faults in the other party. Yet we see the best in each other, and accommodate each other's imperfections. We may not be the best in what we do or the most good-looking ones around, but you're the best for me.





Unknown to many, I have suffered several short bouts of self-condescension and self-doubt over the past 2 months, largely because of school work. But things add up in some way of another, and sometimes small misunderstandings tend to erupt into quarrels and a good amount of quibbling. To worsen matters, my heavy workload and tuition schedule totally killed alot of our usual meet-up times. But hey, aren't we still going strong?

We got to celebrate the second half of the day at Jack's Granddad's birthday party, with great wine, food and company. And the warmth I received was so overwhelming, it took alot not to cry while taking in all the sights and sounds. And to know that, one day, all this joy will also be mine to share is simply too much happiness to bear. :)

2 years

Love drives people to do the most insane things.

Especially when baking obviously isn't your forte and you fail more times than you get things right, but some nagging intuition of yours just makes you lurch forward and dive right in. Beginner's attempt at apple crumble, and it wasn't too bad. Love made it right. :)

Happy 2 years. :)

It hasn't been a thornless journey, and I'm not afraid to paint this not-so-rosy portrait of relationships. I don't want to give people false perceptions that we're always seeing eye-to-eye, always sweet and kissy, or seldom lost our cool. To be in love is an easy thing; to stay in love is a feat. And I'm proud of us simply because we stayed in love and stood by this love ever-so relentlessly and defended it with all we had.





Like what I told you, I didn't believe in love in the past. I didn't think that anyone in the world would have a place in their heart for me to reside in. I was crestfallen and crushed, and was angsty because I had been blind to see the facet of truth. And you changed me. You showed me that I was worth it. You took out the doubt in me, and look where we are today. This beautiful love story is going to see more and more chapters of you and me, and I wanna thank you for simply letting me into your life, and for being in mine. Cheers to love, and to us.

And thanks for making this day nothing short of magical, like how it has been for every day in this love. The little notes, exploring the hidden treasures on the island, the great coffee, the sharing sessions on those long bus ride, and the lovely sunset to complement our exquisite dinner. While we'll continue to work towards the ideals we spoke of today, I know I can trust you to take great care of yourself for me. But one thing I still can't figure out why I'm madly in love with you; I simply am, and will always be, forever and always.

I miss you.

Love is... you and me

And we both acknowledge the fact that we’re counting down to this very day.

To call you my Super Sunshine 368 days ago.

To nod a very awkward reply and say ‘yes’ to your favourite ring 365 days ago. And to sing ‘Yes I Love You’ to ‘May I Love You’ that very day.

To go through the little bickers we always have one week prior to the 27th, and learn to overcome the little differences.

To try very hard not to colour-coordinate our clothes and fail miserably.

To have someone to hold onto for dear life when I attempt to trip myself on the flight of steps at Vivo.

To talk about cars, wine, and almost everything under the sun to.

To be there to squeeze your shoulders between mugging sessions.

To nag at you whenever you’re having something sinful to eat, and then give up eventually because I can’t bear to see you being sad.

To have mugging supplies of chocolate hanging at my door.

To do crazy things like walking from PS to Fort Canning to Clarke Quay with.

To play luge and laugh out loud with.

To hug and cry into.

To wrestle your fingers into mine when I try to playfully escape.

To sleep on when I really need to conk out.

And many many more. It’s countless.


And I had a hard time convincing myself that we’ve came a long way yesterday. The simplicity of kaya and toast, the self-made presents we gave each other which were so similar except for the medium, going back to how we started with music and lyrics, the princess-y indulgence at Inizio (save for the horrid lady), Japanese dinner, those stuff toy machines, ice cream, supper for both our parents who just love to agree on what to have…

And I just love you.