Just a little longer, my dear. Just a few more words to round up the 27th of June, 2011. Just a few more minutes to etch this into the cornerstone of life.
One of the scariest things in a relationship is to start doubting your eligibility; it's mostly planted by a passing incident which triggers the self-deprecating monster, and things tend to work their way out of proportion. Many a times, there will be instances when you glance at your toes and start to criticize every nail and crevice, and gradually you grow to hate yourself so much, you can't stand the sight of yourself in the mirror. Let's try and slay that bloody bastard.
I've had those insane moments too - times when I foolishly led myself to conceive the idea that all this was just sympathy points and charity cookies. I KNOW I was being incredibly retarded, but there will always be times when you ask yourself - "what's so bloody great about me?" I know this, because I spent my teenage days suffering in the taunting of apathetic people who grew their ego out of others' misery. I've been the butt of jokes before. I've had people stabbed me in the back, cried those crocodile tears for me, and pushed me down at the deep end. I've prolly seen as much crap as you have.
But I told myself that I would emerge stronger out of all this. I want those insufferable people who have laughed at me and called me names to swallow their pathetic jokes when they see that I'm happy now, and it's all because of you. I want them to see how much they've missed. I want to wipe those smirks off their faces when I smile for you. Because whatever goodwill I've suffered for over those years, it's been returned back to me, in the form of you.
And I miss you so much.
Happy 40th month, and I'll see you in 12 hours' time. :)
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