Downtime

Another one of those fall-into-the-abyss moments; it dawned upon me that I could barely count the number of friends whom I could dial for in an emergency with both hands. Depressing passing thought, considering the number of people I actually wave ‘hi-byes’ to in school. Ironically, I’ve repeated this moronic routine of convincing myself that I don’t need to paw at people who don’t put me in their minds because it’s not worth the brain cells. And yet I’m fervently drilling at the painful spot again, tonight.

You must be cursing me for lamenting, given the fact that I’m blessed with a relatively normal family, a particular Mr. Jack whom I can’t tear myself away from, my bunch of three girlfriends and my secondary school clique who have stuck by me all these years. I’m blessed, I’d admit it. I love these people more than anything else in the world. They are the ones who would never say never. They are the ones who would never leave me in the lurch to die. They would never say ‘hi-bye’ and fade away.

Because I realized that, having said all that, many of those who have made grandeur promises and crossed their hearts on them, never made any of those dreams come true. It’s always the unsung heroes, my heroes, who have lit the correct paths for me in all altruistic fashion whenever I set foot in the wrong places.

Tonight, all I think about is the love and strength you all have given me, and it’s more than enough to tide me through this downtime.