1 down, 3 to go

Yawn.

JS2224 paper was manageable. I didn't breeze through it, and wrote until my right hand cramped. Serious. It was down to the essay part and 1 hour to go when I twitched and felt this horrid pain in my right hand. Well, at least I survived an extremely essay-ey paper and an inpromptu cramp.


I wonder how much would it take to stop having people pile their expectations on me. I vaguely remember blogging about it, but it came back to haunt me these few days prior to the exams, and all it did was to make me feel even lousier about myself, as a sister, a friend, a daughter, a girlfriends and whatevernot. And it's going to be a dark mark on me, because I'll have to bear these obligations. It's not that I'm trying to take all responsibility off me, because I understand that when Dad is overseas, I'll have to shoulder half of the responsibility of managing the family. But I had hoped better of my sisters, who are already in their teens and are still being spoonfed and baby-ed by my parents. Jack was right to say that I have to play my part simply by the fact that I'm the eldest in the family and my sisters tend to look upon me as someone to help them. But I'm doing all I can, and yet be taken for granted. Disheartening. I mean, I can't be there for them 24/7, I still need my own breathing space and have the freedom to do my stuff. It's not like helping with the dishes or the bed linen is solely my responsibility. And I'm just sick of the fact that no matter what I say or do, this carrot and stick will never work.



I just hope I don't bring up my kids this way in future. I'll just convulse and die.