I'm very much lost in a whirl of thoughts. It's like being caught up with alot of matters at the same time and not knowing when your feet will touch the ground next. It's like taking umpteen rides on the Cadbury Inverter and throwing up your guts over and over again.
And things will still be very much the same, right? It's a full circle, they say. It's just a matter if falling back into circumstances instead of fighting them. It just takes a longer time to recuperate when you try to hard to block out everything and delude yourself, because you end up stabbing your own fingers.
If only I could stop myself from acting all chirpy, albeit fruitless.
Can I?
I've been returning home relatively late these days, sleeping late, working late but being early for lectures, being early for tutorials... And my body reckons it will fall apart soon. It's like playing Survivor NUS, except the fact that you're up against everyone else, instead of the usual handful of tribes. And I'm still going at it, because I know I can't afford to falter, because I've got to carry on my back. Staying cheery around the family is just another way of saying that I don't have the time to grow all emo and pissed and whatnot.
And all the more determined I am to make the most out of what I can get from education.
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