Saturday, November 29, 2008

Short naps and long whines

Past 48 hours have been a killer, don't ask why. I just never want to put us through it again. Because I know how it hurts to hold the tears inside and pretend that nothing has happened. But everything's ok now.

Can I say I'm uber envious of Jack who finished his exams yesterday? Well, the pros and cons of finishing papers early. You get to slack earlier, but you have to mug like mad. That was what happened to Jack, having 5 papers on 5 days. It was a mad rush, and worse when he has a very very very demanding girlfriend who's always bullying him.
lol.
He'll nod.
But he totally deserves this good 2 days to relax with his good pals, before it's a nosedive into work. Sometimes I wish I could do more for him, instead of him doing all the coaxing, comforting, ... I don't like lope-sided relationships.

But the leg-hugging talk we had yesterday (don't ask why it turned out that way) with my sis' soggy instant noodles for lunch was fulfilling, both ways. You know, sometimes the only way to solve problems is to thrash it out, albeit in a subtle way. But it's comforting to know that we can actually take time to sit down and talk about problems and issues. I think it's either I'm going bonkers from mugging 2219, or we're becoming more and more like a PR agency.

Issue tracking + environment scanning + strategic planning + objective-setting + tactic-employment + evaluation

*dodges the bullet*

Spent some good time debating with Fay over giving and taking too much last night. She was pushing for some sort of 'over-giving' idea, in the sense that if everyone gave excessively, then it would be equal. But the million-dollar question lies here: if the giver suddenly stops giving, who's going to fill that void? You? Me?
Nah, I'm not altruistic enough. I don't like to give in excess, and I feel bad about taking in excess as well. I'd say, I push for a balanced and healthy give-and-take relationship in everything, between everyone. Seriously, if everyone was that big-hearted, people wouldn't be killing their own kind whenever something goes wrong.

Okay, it's back to PR and law.

Friday, November 28, 2008

11 ways to keep your guy

Haha.
Was reading up advice on one of favourite forums, and I came across this:

Here are some advice/tips us women should follow if we want to keep the man that we are with and are in LOVE with:

1. Never ALLOW your man to dictate your whereabouts. Ladies, no matter how many times your man want to be called "daddy," they are not our daddies. We do not have to report to them. Ladies if you want to go shopping, hang with your friends {{Yes, even guy friends}}, then by all means do so. If your man asks where have you been just simply reply with "out with my friends." Besides if you ask him he will reply with the same answer.

2. Never QUESTION your man about ANYTHING if you are not totally sure about it. The first thing to know if your man is cheating is by having an assumption that he is. Now dont be the insecure one and as soon as you see him talking to a female then you think he is cheating. No, you have to be secure in yourself first. If you suspect that he is, then your JOB is to trap him so that you will have CONCRETE proof that he is cheating. A man hates to be questioned just by an assumption. He will lie his way out of it ESPECIALLY if he knows you have no evidence. Once you question him and he IS NOT cheating, it will be HARD trying to gain his trust BACK. Besides you don't like to be questioned if you know you are being FAITHFUL RIGHT??

3. Do not CHANGE for your man. He fell in love with you the WAY YOU ARE. Don't try and compete with THE JONES. Let them compete with YOU. If you were the type that dressed up everyday, made sure your makeup was in tact, and things like that then DO NOT slip and start being "too comfortable." What attracted him to you, will KEEP him with you. Besides you don't want him to stop buying you gifts just because, surprising you with dinner, or things like that RIGHT??

4. Please LEARN how to cook if you do not know how. "A way to a man's heart is through his stomach." That is so true INDEED. A man loves to be pampered, just like you do. So cook for your man just because. Men are not the only kind of humans that can surprise their partner. Just as much as you like to be wined and dined, he does TOO!

5. PLEASE your man to the BEST of your ability. NEVER say what you won't do to please your man. If you don't do it, he will find a TRICK that will. Try NEW things with him. KEEP him interested in you where he wouldn't want to go find ANOTHER freak. Have an open mind in the bedroom but if AT ALL you do not feel COMFORTABLE, let him know. If he persists then he is NOT for you in the first PLACE.

6. STOP requiring so much time with your man. Him hanging with his friends is A MUST for men. They do not want to combine his homeboy time with your time. That may sound mean but he needs that SPACE. Him chillin with his homeboys is just like you with your "girl" friends. There is no harm in that and you must have that TRUST.

7. LADIES you must TRUST your man. If he said he didn't do it or he was at this place then BELIEVE him. What is a good relationship if you can't trust the man? NEVER take the word of a TRICK over your MAN. There are other females that want what you have. DO NOT give them the PLEASURE of putting your man on the MARKET.

8. DON'T depend on your man to make the FIRST CALL. If he goes out with his friends and do not call or stop by for like 3 days, then don't fret. You go out with your friends and ENJOY yourself. If he finally comes back after the 6th day, DO NOT act like his disapperance affected you. A man, well a STRONG MAN wants a STRONG WOMAN. Show him that you can survive with or without him. Let him know that HE needs to step up his GAME if he wants to KEEP YOU because you can find someone that WILL.

9. NEVER become close with your man's BEST FRIEND. That will never work. His best friend will go back and tell your man whatever you tell his best friend. His best friend might start to like you and make moves on you and that can ONLY complicate things.

10. Meet your man's family {{Mostly mother and sisters}}. Become REAL close with them to the point where THEY will STICK UP FOR YOU. In a crisis they will tell HIM how WRONG HE IS and will CONVINCE him to go BACK with YOU. They are your Close BEST FRIENDS. KEEP them around!

11. Your FAITH must match. You can not live a Christian life and be in a relationship with a man that is not a Christian. You are unequally yoked and the Bible talks about this. If you find a man that loves God, he will treat you accordingly. Every woman wants a man like God: able to provide for her, love her, care for her, and everything in between. Finding a man that loves God, he will do just that. He knows how to treat a woman and will try his best to do no harm. Now that man IS NOT God so he will fall short everytime but with the GRACE of God he will be renewed.

author: cbshortie4eva17

Is this true? Tell me.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

When there was you and me

why did i let myself believe
that miracles could happen
cuz now i have to pretend
that i don't really care

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

When all else fails, be the one that works

A freaking update from the earlier entry...

I busted my JS2228 paper. It was simply a matter of 'flip over, glance through the questions, try to cough up something, give up'. I can't say I didn't study, I just studied the stuff they put the least emphasis on. No luck. I think it's a constitution of sleeping late last night, waking up this morning to mug, and mugging right to the doorstep of the paper. Oh man. Was talking to Ed and Chee Yong at the Deck about the paper, and we were talking about being contented with a B-. Can I ask for a B instead? Is that too much? At least I'll feel better.
And damn that picture of the book on high collars.

Oh, and 2 weeks after my camera function died, the slide has spoilt. So technically, I can't send SMSes, because I can't slide my phone open without turning the display off. The light has died, apparently. Damn. It's all a conglomerate of bad things waiting to happen. The husband was vomiting cons of a non-monoblock phone.
Yes, darling.

And it's 3880A tomorrow.
Someone throw holy water over me.

The moment to forget

I'm 36 minutes away from my JS 2228 paper. And I'm skiving at Com Cen. You know it when the sleep pangs hit you after lunch like a hailstorm... You just wanna drift off to Lalaland.
That's my exact sentiments now, neglecting the fact that I DO have a paper to take.

I realised I've have to have people spill things on my bag everytime I go for tuition. Meixian had kindly blessed my laptop bag with her coffee from the Deck the week before, and a very sleepy Bradley split his mineral water without much hoo-haa yesterday. He didn't even bat an eyelid when I pranced out of my seat to save my drowning bag from the pool of water he had made on the teacher's desk.
How helpful.
I wonder what they teach the kids in school nowadays.

And I'm just sick of this regurgitating and forceful swallowing of facts after every paper. I absolutely don't wanna become a penguin.

Time to face my fate.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Fresh

I've decided to chuck the past few entries from June to November 2008, and start on a new page. Apparently Diaryland's weblog style is giving me piles, and I end up having entries all logged onto one page, which is excruciatingly difficult to read and load.

Thou shall stick to one per page.

Apparently I slept before 12am yesterday night, out of my own free will.

Anyway, Saturday has been extremely eventful, with my extremely horrible 2101 paper to kickstart the day. I was okay with the MCQs (Read: Multiple choice questions, but each with only 1 answer). Then the lecturers decided to exterminate us with the MCAAQs (Read: Muitiple Choice and Answers Questions). The basic idea's that they throw you a question with 5 options, and you have no idea how many of them are correct.
Bleah.
So I effectively killed my 2101 score, despite my 75% grade for 60% of overall grade.
*Sees my B+ fly away*

Lunch with the husband came as a huge relief, because it allowed me to ditch my ordeal and, with a cliched pun, carry on with life.
Ooookaaaay.
So the husband devours Mega Macs like it's animal instinct to him. 2101 wrang my brain and appetite dry, so I had the usual apple pie. I still find it amazing that the simple apple pie could ooze so much happiness and comfort.
No pun intended.

So we shifted base to my home, where I later found out that Dad was planning some celebratory feast. His official excuse was because the entire family could sit together and have a proper dinner together, after perhaps a few months. Dad has been flying in and out frequently for the past few months, while the sis just finished torturing herself in OBS. Plus, they could sit down and grill the husband. Haha. Joking. Anyway, we gave Jack a first-hand experience of our family dinners, where the table's never short of food and conversation. Plus, Mum and Dad got his favourite food!
*Jealous*
Oh. Man.
Haha. Never mind. At least they love him.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Fish

Oooookaaaaay.

So apparently Liza does know that I've been crying alot these days. And she scolded me 'so stupid' because it's my fault and yet I'm always acting like I've been victimized.
At least I admit that it's my fault, ok...
When alot of things go awry all at once, I tend to get really irrational about my emotions. And that's when things start to go really wrong, for all the wrong reasons. And the worst thing's that alot of people tend to get implicated (including the traumatized lady at the corridor who watched me bawling and walking past without noticing her). Sometimes I get really tired of myself, but can I help it? Can I stop hurting the people around me? Can I stop all this nonsense?
I don't really care if I scored 92% for my 2220 assignment. It just pissed me off further because I didn't even put in effort, so I don't deserve it. And I saw that tutor whom I hate with a vengeance.
And Jodie went home even before I could consult her.
And my ass hurts from the mugging.
And my shoulders hurt from my sis' kneading.
And I made the husband feel like the biggest sinner in the world.
And in return I made myself feel like the biggest sinner in the world.
And I'm hungry and craving Nutella.
And I lack caffeine.
And the husband's not home yet.
And I'm not in the mood to mug, but 2101's tomorrow.
And I'm getting increasingly sick of 3880.

Damn it.

P.S. Thanks to Ah Lai for the concern and encouragement. I'll heed the Dean's list guy's advice.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Fugli-ess is a crime

Funniest thing I heard today:
“Why must put a filter before the microphone? Filter off saliva?”

Been driving these few days, but the weather has been disagreeing with me. So don’t blame me for being fashionably-unsavvy by walking around with a huge rainbow-hued umbrella. If the school doesn’t want to give me free parking at Arts or build a shelter at Kent Vale, I’ll die an accidental fashion victim. And my driving skills are deteriorating; I’ll just miss getting into an accident every single time I drive. OMG. I’m turning into a road hazard. I think Ah Lai, Kailing and XuanYu will think twice before hitching a ride. The husband is just immune to it.
Or is he?

Haha, and NUS Geyao recently crowned 2 new couples! Oh my, I think I have a hard time tracing the number of couples we have. 6? And plenty of semi-couples (i.e. one party is non-Geyao) as well. Are we all cute or what?!

2219 presentation. I think Eugene simply dislikes our group. He has to make such fugly comments on everything we do, and shoot down every single thing we’re thought of. I’ll definitely look forward to not seeing him for any of my future modules.

I just took a glance at my humongous stack of 2101 notes. I should go sleep.

Stop. And think

I realised there’s a lot of things I don’t really have control over, and yet feel sore over the fact that I can’t control them. It’s like trying to blame fate for bringing me to where I am today. No matter how much I try to defer that queasy feeling of regret, of all sorts, it still comes back to me and hits me with even more veracity than I thought. I’m just so baffled with what I am outside and within, and yet I fear to prod further, for fear that the salience of much truth will overwhelm my understanding of it all.

Am I losing too much of myself to the clutter of disbelief around me?

I think I need to get used to the form of catharsis I’m subjecting my emotions to. I keep thinking it’s wrong, especially when everyone else thinks so as well. I need to find that that balance, that fine-tune to my life that will make it all easier to say I’m alright.

I think I need to stop rambling. And start thinking about being a better me to everyone else.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

I'm not stressed

My mood was really horrendous for the past few days. Bad mood swings, even worse weather with all the heat, painstakingly boring lectures, end of the semester, nearing the exams, chocolate ban, cramps, dog food in school, no mugging places, horrible school staff on the bus shoving people, recording tomorrow, project deadlines, one-man project groups...

I can jolly well make you another list of another 100 things that's killing my mood.

Photobucket

Recording trial tomorrow! First time facing the condenser mic, and I have no idea what to expect. Yuanhong's recording threw me off my feet. It's positive stress, I hope.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Oh my. 2 weeks

Diao.

I just can't believe that this institution is a university, when it hires some people who have no general etiquette. Hands up, for those who got really annoyed at adults who stand by the queue INSTEAD of JOINING the queue. Hello?! Does being adults give you the excuse to for your own priority queue? We people spent 15 minutes snaking in the queue, and we get such low-class citizens jumping queue. I won't even mention the race of the ADULT couple who did so, amongst some others whose faces I was too infuriated to catch. Don't get me started on that, or else I'll be offending a fifth of the world's population. And did I mention that the lady actually made that tsk sound and making comments like "Ooei ask them to move in leh!" when SHE was the one who wanted to barge onto the bus? What has the world become.

And I'm guilty of skipping lectures recently, just to complete my projects. JS project has just been cleared yesterday, while 2220 and 2101 will be cleared by this Friday. I seriously need to start studying. 2101 is 2 weeks away.

Tuition has been a nightmare, with nightmare kids to handle. The pay rise was definitely justified.

Monday, November 3, 2008

When life is a dance

Just before I could blog about the perfect place we found for mugging, it has become infested with our comrades.
Wrong.
Just our schoolmates. I don’t really like to associate myself with people from other planets.

Today was pretty eventful, firstly with me screwing up my 3880A presentation (I think my group members can’t wait to get their fists in my face), then with me screwing up my JS2228 argument during tutorial. I thought my entire day would be terribly screwed, and even more so when I was late for tuition, and my tuition kids happened to give me the silent treatment for the 3 hours I was there. “Damn it”, I thought. And at this point of time, when I have a 1000-word part-of-an-essay to hand in tomorrow, I’m still blogging. Great.

Great things to look forward to:

Wrapping up JS2228 Project tomorrow
Wrapping up NM2101 and NM2220 Project on 7/11
Cashing that cheque
Passing that S.H.E my mum bought for Jack to him
Shen Mu Yu Tong concert on 13/11
Study break

The boyfriend and I happened to be having this ‘conversation’ in the library just now.

[I was complaining about this pair of noisy students yakking loudly at the computer booth, when it was obviously a library]

Mr. J: They tink this is ***** mah…
Cows = goats = dogs
Dogs can be classified into b***hes and b***h f**kers

Hence, ***** people in ***…those in front of us…= b***hes and b***h f**kers

[Then we were talking about this Facebook photo posted by Kailing.]

Ms. J: You look as though i bullied u.
Hen wei qu.

[At this point of time, the boyfriend gave the -_- expression.]

[The guy seated opposite us was blasting Jay Chou songs. I wasn’t exactly appreciative.]

Ms. J: The person is deaf.

Mr. J: No only deaf, retard also… Brain got so much shit it overflowed into his ears
Ms. J: He listen to songs from dunno which era.
Mr. J: The era where zhou cai dong is still a little boy, and not the b*****d now
Ms. J: Nono. I think it’s from the time when Zhou Cai Dong is still a
zygote in his mum’s womb.
Mr. J: Tot he came from the toilet pipe outside lt11?
Ms. J: -_-

[After a while…]

Ms. J: Omg it’s Shan Hu Hai.
Mr. J: Now then u realized.
Ms. J: Naturally. Anything from cai cai is filtered out of my system.lol

Mr. J: 15 more mins? Bfore we leave?

Mr. J: I love u
[Censored conversation]
Mr. J: I got 7 more slide. U?
Ms. J: I have the whole internet.
Mr. J: Most imptly I got u

Okay. Don’t stone me.
Time to work on 2101.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

If only...

If only I could have ramen for breakfast, lunch and dinner everyday.
If only I could stop snacking.
If only I could bring out that huge eraser and remove all the unhappiness I had in secondary school.
If only I had fallen in love with you earlier.
If only I could have fries and not feel guilty about it.
If only I could stay by your side everyday.
If only my sister would stop gorging herself.
If only I could stop checking my phone every 5 minutes for your SMS.
If only time could stop, so that I wouldn’t think that time is passing too fast for us.
If only Dad would Skype me now.
If only I could stop listening to these emotional songs.
If only I could stop procrastinating.
If only I could stop myself from wondering why you’re not online.

Lalaland-ing

Another nightmare week. The weekend is always welcome, because it signifies time to play catch-up, work on those approaching deadlines, and breathe.

So Jurong Entertainment Centre will be torn down tomorrow. A significant part of my schooling life was spent there, from primary school all the way up to JC, so the girls and I took the last chance to have a small gathering at the MacDonald's outlet there. Recalling how JEC was like 6 years ago, how I got a tummyache after eating at the Kobayashi outlet for the first time, how the theatres are still equally lousy, how we always took neoprints there... And we can't stop Capitaland from taking this building away from us, so the least we could do was to stay til closing time. To us, JEC was more than just a meeting venue for fast food and entertainment; it is 10 years of colourful memories.

And a huge apology to the husband for returning home at such an unearthly hour. I felt absolutely horrible to find out that you couldn't get to sleep.

Time to go find the hubby in Lalaland.