It's very unusual of me to find time and inspiration to write something at this time, but if I've got issues to settle and emotional knots to undo, time's no longer a stand-alone factor.
Time hardly finds me these few days, leaving me with little to spend with my family and friends. Working basically wastes it even more, because a work freak like me would finish up my work diligently within a few hours and find myself empty-handed and freezing cold until I knock off. Perhaps I should learn to slow down, because I'm not used to living life at such a "breakneck" pace. Breakneck indeed. And while I'm suffering from underworking, I'm undersleeping from all the worrying over people I care for. Love, be it mutual, non-mutual, familial or friendly, is a taxing law of motion. Even Physics can't explain it.
And here I go again. I've heard and read enough for the past 2 weeks, and it's getting unbearable. Absolutely. Unbearable. But no amount of lamenting, crying, complaining, cursing and swearing will seal the issue or heal any wounds. I know things have gotten out of hand, thanks to a bunch of lovely morons, but now's not the time to point fingers. I realised that showing who's right and who's not is simple; if I know that whatever I'm doing does not go against anybody's wishes, I'm going in the right direction. I will not inflict pain to show my support, and I will not shout just to make you listen to me. I will not fight the crowd to see you smile if I know it isn't by will; I will not beat traffic just to catch your pretty face. I have not, and will not, do whatever goes against my life and yours. I have my principles, and no matter how much thought I put into thinking, I will not forsake my benefits for you. That will be something I'll be selfish about. I will not change myself for you, for I will not do that for anyone. I will live my life as it is, eat and breathe just like everyone does. The one and only difference is, I now have one more person to care about.
Happy Valentine's.
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