I started to feel pretty useless today, for no apparent reason. I guess it's the toil of sitting and waiting to see if you're going to climb up there or sit at the bottom of the pit and eat dirt all your life. It's pretty near, yet pretty far. Perhaps when the results come out, I wouldn't feel as uneasy as I am now.
Sometimes, I felt that I was doing things right. And while pondering on the same situation yonks later, regret and remorse was all I felt. Did I really sway in the positive direction? Or was I just heralding my own downfall? Sometimes, I wish I hadn't put so much thought into it, and things might actually turn out right.
I don't need a break right now; I need to load myself with work to kill off the silly thoughts in my head. Then probably my heart wouldn't beat as fast.
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