Friday, January 30, 2009

Photos photos

I'm starting to get sick of my so-called 5.0-megapixel camera phone. The macro function is horrid! I miss my Samsung Ultra... Only if it didn't die on me so soon. It's a 3.0 beauty with a whole load of brains.


Met up with Fay and Jane yesterday. Fay won't be very happy about my snooping around... That superwoman's taking KOREAN LANGUAGE! She'll probably know more languages than the fingers I have on my hand by the time we graduate. And she was joking that she found it ironic that she could communicate in Japanese, but can't speak a single word of Hakka to her grandma.




See what I meant?! The macro function sucks! It can only focus if you place items at least 10cm away from it! WTF do you call macro function when I can't take pictures up close? Nokia developers, please please please do something to your trashy camera phones.



Oh, and Engine has a new Japanese cuisine stall! It serves decent fare, and the only (and the greatest put-off which is going to make sure that today's going to be the first and last time I'm going to eat from there) is that the rice is Thai fragrant rice! WTF. Is that even half-Japanese? The first thing I did was to dig into the rice, expecting it to be soft, sticky, yet grainy and fragrant with the light scent of Japanese rice and vinegar. I forgot it was Engine, after all. What tastes especially nice here?




So it's a big no-no. Unless it's the only stall open for the day, I'm stepping nowhere near.






When the audiophiles clash, this is what you get.





Remember how I was fluttering on about the button headphones by Audio Technica? Apparently I managed to tweak my thinking to place function over form, and here's what you get.


Yups, white ATs for the audiophiles. I like Jack's pair! The bass is ... astounding. But they look like a happy couple together, so I shall not be evil enough and make his headphones gay. Small headphones for the small-headed, small-eared me, and the larger headphones (with better specs.!) for the larger-headed, larger-eared husband. Sweet.
Thank you so much, so much for the advanced present.



Wednesday, January 28, 2009

CNY Day 2

What happens when you're grasping onto every single moment and second in time?





You excavate the boyfriend out of bed and get his ass to your house by 9.30am.

Haha.

Okay that was a big fat joke. I'm too used to scaring my readers.

After taking the velcro off my ass, I attached myself to Jack, who came by to do some CNY visiting. And I was still trying to ingest my 2216 readings. I'm such a mood dampener.

Watched The Wedding Game, which, sadly, has not much plot to begin with. But we had great seats, snippets of the show were funny enough to appease me, and I had Jack by my side, so it was pretty good after all.



If I had done this 2-storey high lantern for my secondary school class deco competition, we would have came out tops. You can still catch a peek of this at Harbourfront centre before it disintegrates.



And can you complain that my little girl's adorable?

Dinner was... gorgeous.

Okay, so far everyone around me would know that I've been vegetarian for... 4 years? But ever since my health started going downhill at the start of this year, I've been preparing myself to start taking fish. Since my parents have always been playing the bad guys and force-feeding me fish all this while, I've decided to turn it all around. I'm taking FISH!!! Haha... I'm going to take it one step at a time, so I'm still playing around the edges. I'm not born a penguin, you know.


Look at how the husband's marvelling at his dinner. It's just fish, my dear.

I'm always on the verge of crying whenever I feel you squeeze my hand. Not because you're hurting me, but because of the very fact that you're here, just right beside me. And it's going to be this way, every day, every year. It's not how much you've enslaved yourself to me; it's the way we don't allow each other to override our individual abilities and become handicapped. I love the closeness and yet the independence.

Happy 11th month.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

CNY Day 1

Blogging considerably early in the morning has caused some serious backflow of thoughts; I forgot everything I wanted to blog about this morning, especially most events that happened yesterday. All I recollected was having alot to eat, and the trip to the hospital.



Yes, I scare my readers and friends and family alot with my blog.



I think I shall adapt this stance in the next few years to come. Keeping a low profile did me some good; I escaped all questioning and interrogation with ease. I think it's because I didn't dress to stand out, PLUS the fact that every family that came in brought a toddler with them.

Which was hilarious.

Because when one cries, the situation erupts into a crying choral.

Which was even more hilarious.



Lunch at grandma's was... oily. She just has to do this to us every year, though I do have a soft spot for her homemade braised bamboo shoot (which is oily with a capital 'O'). Then the usual ang baos, the goodies (which I had kept off, every year since 2007), the loud TV, the incessant chatter, the hollering tods...



Trip to hospital was... an awakening. Uncle went in with some cardiac problems; hopefully he'll be okay by now. I was rudely reminded of Grandma and how much she had suffered in the hospital during CNY 2 years ago; Uncle's ailment was quite similar to Grandma's case. Hopefully he'll get back into the pink of health soon.

And the best thing today?
Having you back within an hour's reach.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Reunion dinner 2

And it was Round 2.







My mum was so persistent about preparing a fowl for dinner when we were already having steamboat, so sitting pretty in the fridge now is half of the leftovers from dinner. Bah. So much food. Force-fed fish, but I'm starting to learn to live with it. Jack was worried that I wouldn't be able to handle the sudden introduction of alien food into my food chain, but I'm perfectly okay with it, up to now. But it doesn't mean that I'm going back to taking in red meat; I have a permanent abhorrence for the stench. It's literally a stench. Pardon me. But falling sick so very often these days has made me take serious considerations about going back onto fish.


I'm throwing sencha into my stomach.
I miss you.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Warped

I thought nothing much can go wrong, until yesterday...


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Jamming can be summed up in one word: *sigh*.

While the instrumentalists were debating over the arrangement and even the melody of the song, I was struggling with the chorus really badly. Seriously, I wanna drop everything from here and just concentrate on school and family. I've got bombardments from exco, from fbh planning committee, from the 'advisory', from the songwriters... And when I reach home from all the crap, the crap continues online. MSN servers should just crash for a week and give me a break.




At least I had fun at 2216 lecture, even though I fell asleep halfway. And Mee Mum was in the same lecture! Brings back memorable experiences of NM2219 from last semester...




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" When the Empress sends an edict, whoever doesn't fulfill it shall be beheaded."


It applies. So when the woman needs her dose of Chai Ho (財好), the daughter has to activate her most loyal subject (a.k.a) the husband to help. Apparently queuing for 2 hours only brought the husband forward by a few metres.

Total duration: 3.5 hours
Total loot: 2 kg

The husband remarked that the young boss smiled at me. wtf.

I was still thinking "wtf did I just do?" when I went home.

Joined the gurlies at JP for a short while.



Then things just had to happen.

Shit.

I'm giving myself too many lame excuses.




Fuck.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Mad cap

It's amazing how peripheral matters can stain our moods so easily; it's like getting killed accidentally by stepping into the firing range. A horrid 8am lecture, a traffic jam, a fatal car crash, a missing meal, a persistantly-drippy nose, a stubborn friend...





Caught Ip Man on Tuesday. It's the first kungfu movie that made me cry. I can be the most emotional at times, but crying during the show took me by surprise. I guess it's just the depiction of humans killing humans when there's clearly no need to do so. Heck, no one's born with the right to decide who should live and die, so to end someone's life is the sickest thing to do. All the fighting, all the guns, all the broken men... But it's a good movie, no doubt. And Donnie Yen's my new kungfu hero. Jackie Chan can take a step down.




FBH's ... hectic. I'm basically struggling between releasing funds to them and releasing funds for buying new equipment. A new bass, a new drumset... Plus FBH expenses, plus horrid money matters with CS...

Monday, January 19, 2009

Reunion Dinner No.1

Haha I'll actually have to number off the reunion dinners I'll be having this year, simply because there's several of them, with several families. And today's (or rather, yesterday's) was with Jack's exxxxxxtended family. Huge.






And I'm getting all big-headed over the photos my Nokia 6220 Classic is churning out. The VGA at the front totally sucks, but the 5.0 MP cam with auto-focus is my kind of tech toy. And to capture the dinner at its essence, I'm all honoured. Oh, Jack and I spent a reasonable amount of time in the afternoon shredding all that carrot.


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Shoes, shoes, shoes...
Just goes to show how many people were there. Oh, and I won in Lord of the Fries for the first time! I'll probably get burned at the stake if this gets out, but the other 'guest' wasn't as 'up-to-standard' as what Jack described him to be. That was the first thing I told Jack when I spotted him. Haha.
Okay, so I'm totalled.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Nausea

Because it's only the first week of semester 4, and I'm overwhelmed by the instructions intricately woven by each module lecturer to confuse us. Or is it just me. Oh well. The up-side's that I don't need to cash in too much on textbooks this semester, the down-side's that there's much much much more hands-on work to do every week. And it's a direct challenge to my stamina by taking 2 design modules, one reading-intensive module and 2 level-3000 modules. I just hope and pray my steps won't falter halfway through this 4 months of toiling.

Despite the fact that I'm telling and agreeing that the Twilight books are written for pre-pubescent lovelorn tweens, I'm delving into the second-parter without looking back. It's just one of the withdrawal symptoms of reading Rice's Merrick and falling in love with immortality. CLEO's editor Deb is right; it's the whole package of living forever that lures us in, with treachery, romance, bloodlust and pursuit to fuel the addiction.

Oh shit. And I have a week's worth of fines to pay for 4 books.

And I wonder if things on the almanac ever come true. The ever-superstitious Chinese would die to steal a glance at the prevailing year's fortunes, addressing money, relationships, career etcetera. Mine said that I'll be "suffering and recovering from minor illnesses this year", having "unstable relationships with your other half", down on my money luck, and basically anything bad that can ever happen to anyone in a single lifetime. Now, even if I'm a staunch Astrology analyst, pelting me with sucky readings will just make me dismiss every single word. I'd rather count my own stars. Plus, Jack wouldn't allow anything bad to come between us. Neither will I.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Love to love

We're all suffering from crappy mood swings.

And I just hope everything will be fine when I open my eyes tomorrow morning.









"It's our God-foresaken right to love, love, love."

Listen to him. He's right.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Tuesdays

What a way to waste away my free Tuesday. So apparently I emptied out Tuesdays on my timetable since I didn't have any lectures, in hope that I'll have more time to crash out at home/study/sleep. I'm taking modules I'm totally unfamiliar with this semester (NM2216 Introduction to Interactive Media Design, NM2208 Principles of Visual Communication, NM3204 E-Learning, NM3215 Advertising Strategies, JS2224 Japan and Singapore), so I'm totally counting on my lucky stars this time. I hope that putting in extra effort will mean a much better grade than I scored last semester.




Oh, and does anyone know that Nohara-san's back in Japan? He was the Japanese tourist who got stranded at the Mexico Airport last September, and became an instant 'star' there, having stayed there for a period of three months. I thought it was pretty cute.







Red Cliff 2 - Couldn't blame the ratings for falling (5.0 for Part I to 3.5 for Part II). For the non-Red Cliff viewer, it's a horribly draggy war movie with gunks of fake blood, Albino pigeons flapping around and a bad actress. To quote Jack's buddy Gordon, it was a “又長又臭的電影”("Long and smelly"). Haha. I felt pretty cheated when the sequel wasn't shown on the proposed September date last year, but the wait was worth it; at least I didn't have as high an expectation for Part II than Part I. For those who'll love to have a piece of the disappointment, go for the GV Red Cliff Movie Marathon. Just get those water cushions ready for the 300-minute ride.

And I feel bad for bangseh-ing the auditions today. One for abandoning the judging panel, and another for giving up on Yuching's song. I just thought it wasn't something I was capable of carrying off today (not even smoking through) with the abhorrent lump in my throat. Plus the lyrics were woven so thickly together, it's impossible to get it done in one breath. Good for recording, bad for 'live' performance. Just my frankest comments.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Live life and love

Before the new term officially starts, let's take some time to read some news here.

Anti-suicide mission - The Straits Times Online

TOJINBO (Japan) - RETIRED policeman Yukio Shige is still on patrol, walking daily along the Tojinbo cliff, one of the best-known suicide spots in Japan where he pursues a private mission to prevent people leaping.
Mr Shige's method of persuading someone to stay alive is quite simple, he said.
When he spots a person standing on the edge of the cliff, he talks to them gently and brings them back to his cafe, where he serves them warm rice cake.
'You can see what the person is here for just by looking at the way they stand on the edge,' he said. 'Most of them look relieved and soon break down in tears when I just say hi.' Mr Shige, 64, said he had no idea until just before his retirement in 2004 how many people jump to their deaths from the sheer rocky cliff of Tojinbo, which faces the crashing waves of the Sea of Japan (East Sea).
'I've seen as many as 10 dead bodies being recovered in one month,' he said.
'I was just stunned by this, but what struck me even more was that people here said it was normal for this place.' Upon retiring, he opened a small cafe near the cliff edge and established a non-profit group to support people coming to Tojinbo in distress.
Since then he has patrolled along some 1.4 kilometres of the rocky cliff almost every day, scouring the precipice with binoculars.
He and his supporters say they have prevented 167 people from leaping in the past four years and eight months.
Now, however, he worries that the number of people wanting to commit suicide will grow as the global economic crisis threatens to hit Japan hard.
Japan has one of the highest suicide rates in the world, with more than 30,000 people killing themselves every year since 1998.
In recent years, one of the main chosen methods has been burning charcoal in cars to die of carbon monoxide poisoning, as well as mixing bath salts and detergent to create a deadly gas, a method widely available on the Internet.
Police data from 2007 show depression was Japan's number one cause for suicide, followed by illness and debt.
In Tojinbo alone, 257 people leapt to their deaths in the decade to 2007, with many others attempting but failing to die, Mr Shige said.
Authorities have long neglected the issue as killing oneself tends to be considered a personal problem.
Nevertheless, in the face of such huge numbers, the Japanese government created a law in 2006 for the first time acknowledging suicide as a social challenge and encouraging local authorities to provide counselling and support to those who attempted to kill themselves.
Still, Mr Shige notes, Tojinbo's city authorities have not put up a single fence or warning sign along the cliff, nor responded to his incessant calls for an official counselling centre near the edge.
- Tourism industry advertising 'suicide spot' - Before retiring to Tojinbo, Mr Shige spent most of his 42-year career as a detective, chasing crimes such as underground gambling and drug violations.
Five years ago, the last before his retirement, he was assigned to a police station covering Tojinbo cliff in central Fukui prefecture.
While shocked to see the place as a chosen suicide spot, he was further distressed by the gruesome realisation that Tojinbo's local economy relies on this fact to support and promote its tourism industry.
'Guides on the ferry would make sure to introduce this place as a big suicide spot while crowds of visitors come here in buses hanging the sign 'The Mystery Tour',' Mr Shige said in disgust.
'I asked tour guides to stop advertising Tojinbo as a suicide spot, but a local town assembly member once told me tourists would never come to a place like this otherwise. 'So why don't you leave it alone,' he said.' Noting that local stores sell T-shirts with slogans reading 'I'm tired of living' or 'I live in hell', Mr Shige said: 'I would say this place has solicited people's suicides.' He fears that without funding for his own non-profit efforts he and his partner, Ms Misako Kawagoe, will find it difficult to continue their mission.
In the first year after they started the group, it went 1.2 million yen into the red. It also posted losses for the next two years.
- Remembering lives lost - Five years ago, while still a policeman, Mr Shige spotted an elderly couple sitting on a bench for hours watching waves breaking on the cliff.
They said they had come to kill themselves because, after shutting down their Tokyo bar, they were left with a debt of two million yen they had no way of paying off.
'I persuaded them to keep trying and promised that the local social security office would take care of them,' Mr Shige said.
But he later heard that after a distressing round of begging trips to various government offices, they had gone elsewhere and hanged themselves.
'Public help is the last resort for people like them,' he said. 'I promised myself I wouldn't stop until the government starts moving.' Mr Shige and Ms Kawagoe often travel home with the people they talk out of suicide. And when people have no home to go to, the pair find them somewhere to live and give them money until they can get by on their own.
While Mr Shige is the frontman in the operation, Ms Kawagoe has her own reasons to help people on the edge.
'I myself lost my parents in suicides when I was 15,' said Ms Kawagoe. 'My father hanged himself and my mother later swallowed pesticide to follow him.
Both times I found their bodies.
'I had never disclosed this to anyone. But when Mr Shige asked me to join his work, I thought I had to face it,' she said.
'I learned many people have their own problems. I just cannot let them go alone,' she said.
- New fears mounting - Mr Shige fears the current economic turmoil could push more people towards suicide, especially with tens of thousands of contract workers being laid off across the country.
Due to the global downturn, Japanese firms including leading automakers have downgraded their earnings, cut jobs and stopped factory lines as demand falls for exports.
'We are concerned that the number of people who try to commit suicide here may rapidly grow,' he said in a petition submitted to the local mayor and the tourism association, urging them to take action.
In November alone, he said, four out of six people he saved from suicide said they wanted to die because they could not find a job.
'To be honest, this is not easy work physically or financially. I could quit even tomorrow,' Mr Shige said with a cynical smile. 'But I will never stop until the government finally does something.' -- AFP

http://www.straitstimes.com/Breaking%2BNews/Asia/Story/STIStory_324836.html





Moral of the story?

There's alot of things worth living for. So why choose to die so soon? Perhaps I'm saying this because I can't put myself in the shoes of the retrenched salaryman, the elderly couple with 20 million yen of debt or someone whose immediate wish is to leave everything behind and seek sanctuary in the arms of death. But one thing that I know of, is that no matter how insignificant I think of myself to be, there's at least one soul out there in the world thinking of me, missing me, loving me, and waiting for me. Everyone's loved by someone on this Earth, so why choose to break their hearts?

I'm living, learning and loving every moment I have to live, and dying will be nothing on my mind. I wouldn't even think about it.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Love is you and me

There's a reason why I fell in love with you.

It's because I know that this love is what my life is lacking.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

And it has to be

The little spring in my step which I carried over from 2008 to 2009 seems to be here to stay. While we're one week to the next semester, I'm maximising all the time I can afford to spend time with people I love. The new school semester is always fraught with new challenges and obstacles, so this final week's to recharge my batteries and oil my gears before diving into another stretch of 4 antagonizing months. The gurlies, the JC best mates, the primary school lost-and-found classmates, the uni friends, the family and, of course, Jack. Time spent with them is never enough, and goodbyes often have to end with fighting back tears and the urge to spend another minute with them. But I know the love, no matter the distance, will be here to stay and multiply.

Recounting today, I had a 10-lap lazy swim with Jack, with the dark clouds beckoning at us to get our asses out. Haha. And guess what I had for lunch? Chicken rice! Without the chicken, of course. The nostalgic blend of chicken stock, garlic, ginger, onions and pandan leaves left me craving for more, if not for the fact that I've already busted my tummy's capacity for lunch. Got egg tarts for the family's supper, and bused back to Jack's home. Mythbusters on Youtube, watching Jack playing some shooting game which I refuse to lay my hands on, checking my bidding. Then it was down to Toa Payoh for dinner and Bedtime Stories. They had couple couches! But God knows how many people have sat there and when was the last time the couches were cleaned. Haha. But it was a funny movie and, you know, sometimes, if you'd just dare to dream a little more, what you wish for may really come true. But only if you work for it. So that's lovely 2nd January 2009 with Jack.

Oh God. 12.03am. I'm so dead.