S-curve

I'm currently too pre-occupied with too many non-academic matters, so much so that finding time to mug is like finding a winning lottery ticket on my way home. Today's driving lesson went smoothly, despite me getting a yelling from my instructor granduncle for suddenly swerving to avoid an injured egret limping across the road. Hello?! At least I wasn't going to wreck his car. And just as I was starting to get used to his white Honda, another student of his crashed it, so I've got to make do with a light blue one with a slight steering glitch. Yuck. But I loved my first time on the S course (Sub laughed at me because I said 'S curve. Ha.Ha.Ha.), too. Didn't touch the kerb, so was pretty smug about it. So much for a fruitful day.

I could have been

I’m not going to be freakin’ bothered about anything anymore.

Alright, I just needed to get that off my chest. Yesterday was fantastic, although my performance wasn’t really up to my own standards. The wait from 5 to 8.30pm was downright torturous, so I got some help for my hopeless Biology just to while the time away.

And I’ve just found the right source of motivation for my studies.

Jam-packed with positiveness

This isn't meant to be a show-off, but I'm just feeling too good and positive to keep everything inside.

1. I didn't fail for my Biology assignment. You could probably guess what happened the previous times. I had the initial thought of just ignoring the application called 'Gradebook' in the IVLE after the previous 2 times almost caused me to break out into mad screeching like a banshee. Jane convinced me to face the music, since I told her that this week was my best week in the year, so nothing would possible hinder my path to become increasingly happy.It worked.

2. I finished my ol' so lengthy essay paper. I just gave the procrastinator in me the boot, wrapping up some final editing yesterday. Hey, I was early, okay? My lecturer was right; 3500 words wasn't alot. My first draft was almost twice that number, and I had to pull even my eyebrows out trying to crunch all that into 3500 words.P.S: It still isn't 3500 words, but I'm handing it up, nonetheless.

3. Yesterday was the final lab session. Okay, it's not as though I hate lab sessions. The assignments just put me off the prospect of attending more, and taking more, of such lessons. Besides, yesterday's lab session was pretty fun, although it kind of reduced us to the equivalence of Primary school kids wandering round a zoo.

4. Yesterday's rehearsal-cum-jamming session was probably the most fulfilling times, ever. I got an OK from my keyboardist the first time round, and the guy was nice enough to stay and jam another song in the studio, since he was free. Had a great chat, and he wasn't too much of the introvert I thought he was. Looking forward to Friday's rehearsal and performance.

5. Tank's coming tomorrow, and although I'm upset that I wouldn't be able to go for the free concert at Vivocity (because of the performance), I'm just glad he's here. Looking forward to seeing him on Saturday. :)

I'm just so positive. Anyone who needs some positive vibes, kindly approach me. Haha.

Someone poke me in the eye to keep me awake

This place simply stagnated, grew moss and accumulated knee-deep dust over the past week. Fay's right; my diary's just a portal for blog readers to access other people's blogs and nothing else. Even for myself.

I'm currently fattening myself up(if I'm not already pudgy enough) with those ol' so sinful tidbits from Hokkaido. Mum's just got back, and she's spent a couple of extra bucks to ship an entire box of foodstuff back. Listen: an entire box of FOOD. To simply think about it already constitutes to a crime, not to mention putting all that food into my stomach (At this point, I'm expecting Jane to jump out at me and give me a good thrashing for my laments on sinful food). Oh well, I heeded just an ounce of Jane's advice, and helped myself to the lovely array of snacks. Mochi, chocolate-coated potato chips (screams FAT!), dark chocolate (finally something, well, less sinful), honeydew-flavoured Kit Kat (we'll never get that in Singapore in another hundred years)... All these stir up memories of my Taiwan trip. Aw...

Well, at least all the high-energy food came at a time of need. I've been catching as much sleep as my O'Level-mugging sis (which amounts to not much), binging on coffee (which is very, very unhealthy), spending much of my time awake glued to the computer screen and scrutinizing those 3mm x 3mm Chinese characters and paying equivalent-to-none attention to my social life. And those project deadlines just have to slap me constantly, like waves assaulting a barren beach.

And I'm haplessly addicted to Facebook.

Revert... Revert!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After an entire night and entire morning of furious strumming, my fingers are so sore that it hurts even to type the soft keys of my notebook. Yet the skin-deep damage is gratifying, after yesterday's emotional damage. I could have just let it be and pretend that nothing's happened, but I realised it was unlike of me to just suppress those ugly emotions. So I let loose those crazy demons inside of me last night, strumming away at 11pm. Only my dad managed to subdue my sudden outburst of craze with a glass of Kahlua, which knocked me out successfully within an hour.

The ferocity of my anger went up by another notch this morning, after realising that that pifitul glass of liquer actually managed to keep me snoozing for 10 hours straight. Another session of mad strumming and singing proceeded, without prior concern for my blistered fingers. What infuriated me further was the fact that something so simple could easily be ruined by people who overestimate themselves. Sigh.

I'm just upset over stuff which may seem insignificant to you, but these minor stuff won't disappear just because you ignore them.

I'm back to normal, people. Sorry to ditch you all last night. I feel sorely terrible. We should really form a proper jamming group, since we've got 2 talented keyboardists/pianists and a ...urm... talented harmonica player. Just joking.

If this is what you call music...

All I can say is that I’m sorely disappointed.

Or rather, maybe I expected so much out of myself, and so I naturally did the same of everyone else, and it has finally dawned upon me that maybe, just maybe, I should just close the door. Tempers have been silently flaring for the past few days, and it didn’t improve today, and probably won’t do within the past few days.

And worse still, I had to endure one of the worst damages to my ears. Music affects me to a surprisingly large extent, so having to sit through thousands of seconds of lacklustre, amateur-sounding music, if you even call it that, was like having to sit through a bad porn movie. And it didn’t end there, so I decided to stump my misery by even bothering to say goodbye before I left, cursing under my breath. Don’t ever expect me to turn up again if I’m always the one doing the preparation, only to be let down, once and again.

Time to go pick up my guitar.

Take me away, from you

I admit: It takes alot for me to suppress my intended feelings and smile at you even though deep down inside, all I want to do is to get my hands on that throat of yours. So if I ever bother to mask my hatred from you, it's time you think about how we've treated each other for as long as our acquaintence has been. Don't force me to give up being a listening ear, because things will go awry for you if I ever do that. I'm not indispensible, but I won't allow myself to become entirely obsolete.