Live Strong

I hope I’ll stop receiving questioning looks over my volatile mood, because the one at the helm of it all isn’t me; I can’t even tell myself exactly what and how to feel. I’m too easily affected by the things going on around me, as though it’s second nature of mine to go around picking up bubbles of sadness and happiness and collate all of them within my scope of mood.

My grandma is not looking very good. It seems like the relapse this time round, although it doesn’t seem as bad, is causing her mood to take a huge hit. Every time she turns her head around and shakes her head with whatever strength she could muster from her feeble body, I had to turn away. And I feel so useless, although I know there’s nothing much I can do except to hold her hand and rub her back to tell her I’m still backing her up.Stay strong, my dear.

Brain Jam

I was severely annoyed by the fact that I couldn't remember anything important from the first Biology lecture, which drove me nuts last night. I did take a look at the notes before the lecture, took note of important points during the lecture and kept myself awake the entire time, and even took a second look through the notes after I got home. My brain is stagnating. Or maybe I just need to add another external hard disk drive.

Plight

I’m currently in a relatively bad mood because:

Manchester United lost to their supposedly weaker opponents over the weekend, despite fielding a relatively good team. Yes, you can bemoan the loss of my dearest Christiano and Wayne Rooney and account for the Devils’ fall with that. But that’s a terribly weak excuse. Hello, you’re supposed to be playing a team which you could have easily slaughtered with a Team II, but…? After lifting the EPL Cup last season, have they all gone weak to their arthritic knees, so bad that the last 3 games have been huge flops? I’m just terribly pissed. Totally. Well, At least Arsenal, Liverpool and Chelsea all drew with their opponents over their weekend, so that made it seem better.

I haven’t bought my Reading Pack for today’s lecture. I’m a on-the-ball freak, implying that I can’t just sit around and expect things to be done. Unfortunately, my alter-ego is a couch potato, so getting her to do something which involves going out of her way is like having a splint stuck to the underside of your feet. So I’ll just have to move her myself.

People I know just have to keep losing their things. I know this is a terribly lame excuse for me to lose my cool, but I can’t help it when they lose the most precious things. Someone just lost his PSP. I’m speechless.

Freaked out

I couldn't sleep beyond 6.30am due to the insufferable fact that I haven't finished bidding for my final module. It has been indoctrinated in me that if I don't, by hook or crook, squeeze in another module into my semester for this semester, I'm going to be up to my neck for the next few semester, which would be the last thing I'd wish for. After spending the entire of yesterday's late morning squabbling with Fay over MSN about her tutorial allocation, which involved a fair amount of coin-tossing and a silent temper building, I began to feel better-off due to the fact that I don't need to worry about freeing up one of my days; I've got lectures everyday. I getting way annoyed by the way this system works but, unfortunately, no one cares, so I wouldn't want to poke my big fat nose into this business.

A bout of nostalgia hit me when I made a call back to the office to ask after everyone. The familiar voice, the mindless jokes, the names I used to speak of every morning back in the office... Then the awkwardness of the conversation caught me red-handed; There was nothing much we could talk about, and the call lasted barely a minute.
What... has become of...

Can someone please slap me on the back and tell me everything will be alright

I'm currently feeling utmost perplexed about my current situation:
I haven't got the modules I wish to take this semester. I'll probably die from exhaustion in the next few semesters if this continues, or until I get those freaking modules. This system is driving me nuts.
My purse strings are schizophrenic. One moment I'm in a spending mood, and the other I'll be silently bemoaning my receding account balance. I wonder if I had really worked for the past few months, or has the money silently dripped out of my wallet. Shucks.
And I just feel like absolute crap... And I've never felt like this in such a long time...
The train ride home yesterday was an emotional struggle. I had to hold back those overwhelming feelings of nostalgia forming in my throat, and fight back those ugly tears of despair and slight regret. And here I go again.

When the time comes to say goodbye

I went around the house, trying hard to avoid tear drops that have inevitably found their way to the ground. They've been scarily often today, to the extent of escaping my acute sense of touch and taking their own sweet time to dribble down my face, unknowingly. I can't recall those familiar faces which may soon become faded, those voices I've gotten used to hearing every day,the laughter which bounced off the walls everytime someone cracks a joke, the cue to 'smile',the safety shoe joke, the teasing; those waves of tears will hit the marble again.
Thanks for always asking me to 'smile'.
Thanks for the lunch sessions, although Boss thinks that I'm just trying to leverage on your generosity.
Thanks for those words of encouragement, even though I still think that you deserve more credit than I do.
Thanks for those jokes, they make the nastiest customers look like angels.
Thanks for showing me around; I would have never had that chance of a lifetime to delve deeper into this field.
Thanks for the free disposable spoons and forks, although I never learnt to treasure them.
Thanks for that can of half-eaten jelly beans, which attracted a family of ants to my work desk. I kept the can.
Thanks for the salad lunch, it tasted much better than mine.
Thanks for recommending so many makan places to me.
Thanks for being the one to solve the problems I created.
Thanks for helping me even though you could have been busy yourself.
Last but not least, an infinite amount of thanks just for being apart of my life.
I'll miss you all.