You can't make it, I'm sorry

Just before I complain about the usual bulk of homework I’ve lugged home this week, I just wanna say that this week made me look twice as long at a person’s character before a decide to make a friend out of him or her. I woke up to the cruel fact that even the person you hang out with everyday may not be your best friend after all. A best friend will always be there when friends decide to abandon their position in your heart in the event of a crisis, a difficulty, etc. A best friend will teach you everything you want to know. A best friend will want to cry on your shoulder like you do on theirs. A best friend will tell you what they hate about you and what they like about you. Obviously, many people have failed. But you will always be a great friend, though you may not be the best. You’re not the one. (ps: this is not directed to whoever’s reading this post.)

Felt a little ill today, with all the wheezing, sneezing, choking... I sound like a major epidemic trapped within me.

Too vulgar... Just **** will do

The massacre of my tank of guppies totally brought my entire world down. It’s so depressing to see them die away by the twos and threes, yet do nothing about it. And the ultimate happened this morning: my entire of tank of guppies was wiped out. Yet I can do nothing to voice their grievances on their behalf, because the murderer is in the open and all she does is deny and the world believes her. She emptied half of the bag of fish feed into the tank of 20 teeny tiny guppies and expect them to feed like she does. Listen, bitch. You’ll suffer a worse fate than my poor friends. You’ll pay for it. I’ll get piranhas next.

And to the bastard who broke my heart 2 years ago, you broke my respect for you as a friend. But you’ll never crush my world, because I’m stronger than you, shithead. So go kiss your mum’s ass because you’ll be the last organism I’ll hang out with in the universe. And I’ll never respect you ever again, even as a friend. You lost that.

Speak about being brainless

Back from a hectic day of in-house homework-chiong-ing, sweeping clean of 4 pieces of homework. 4 done, infinity remaining, how pathetic’s that? Anyway, I’m pretty chuffed with the GP essay I rushed out just before midnight yesterday night, so perhaps I might post it up here for everyone’s perusal to check out my faults, as well as to open my essay topic as a discussion thread.

Interesting fact of the day: some dumb (and obviously brainless) people actually have the habit of freezing their batteries in the fridge because they thought that would increase the life of their batteries. Speak of brains…

Driving me nuts

After combating the notorious timetable for 2 weeks, I’m exhausted and spent. I didn’t anticipate this kind of study environment, crammed to the brim with assignments and tests. If this goes on (and it will), I’m going to mutate into a walking corpse, complete with multiple death certificates (in the form of homework) and a burial ground (the school). Bleahz.

At the same time, I’m running out of cash. All my stashed-away cash has been mercilessly sucked away from my safebox, with me being at all helpless. Hello?! Is this an educational institution or some extortion company? It’s like, we’ve got to pay for our notes?! I guess I’m being very penny-pinching, but a typical teenager like me who needs to indulge in magazines, CDs and gadgets can’t just sit around watching my money divide itself and not do anything about it! I’m not complaining that my parents don’t give me enough allowance, because they try their best to pay for my books and stuff which I basically can’t afford, it’s just that those books are priced at ridiculous rates and it’s impossible for students to fork out 15 to 17 bucks from their own pockets for a book. Please, the people at the ministry, do something about it. It’s driving us nuts.

Pondering over stuff

There are just some things in life I’ve been pondering over for the past few hours, and I felt the need to put it down somewhere so that, hopefully, people will ponder over this too.

Firstly, have you ever measured how much love can you give to everyone in the world? That left me dumbfounded for an awkward moment, because I realized that this is something you can actually control and decide on. If I’m not wrong, there’s enough for each individual you know and also for those whom you never get to know all your life but exist in your life. So why bother to hate when there’s so much more you can do with your emotions? Why bother to stay neutral when you can do more than just that for a person? It’s so much like energy, that it cannot be created or destroyed, and can only be converted from one form to another, and it serves the exact purpose of energy. This is just one of the many whirlpools in my head at this point of time, and I’m not your typical hot-blooded teenager who keeps the L word hanging at the corner of my mouth, so you notice I never like to mention that word more than once, partially because someone gave that to me and I treasure it too much.

Secondly, I have the sudden urge these few days to help someone everyday, and I hope that this is something which is highly infectious. It gives me and the helped party the chance to know more about each other, be it good or bad, and I truly treasure the sense of achievement I get from rendering my hand to those who truly need it. I envision myself helping people my age pick up from where they’ve left off and take flight, instead of watching them rot away their only chance to prove themselves to the society. I want to help these people shed the discrimination cast on them by the society and give them something to work their brains at, instead of burning their heads away smoking at the void deck of my flat or out-racing each other on the streets late at night. Please, people, if you think that I’m some moron spitting all over your brightly polished leather shoes, why not put yourselves in the shoes of someone who’s not as fortunate as you?

“If an eye’s for an eye, the world would be blind.”- Ghandi

I caught you... poor thing

I managed a quick glance away from my work and at the amusing scene playing out in the first row of seats. There she was, tugging at his shirt and gesticulating about in front of his face. There he was, trying in obvious vain to escape her hazardous behavior. Her face cringed the moment she noticed that he was making no effort to take in her crap, and her temper flared before he could dodge it. No attempt was made to shield his ears from the blaring annoyance on his left. Amidst the strident screaming, he caught my eye and tried to look as pathetic as possible. I just shrugged and mouthed, “it’s your problem, baby.”

Hey sorry Mel I don’t think I can make it this Saturday, because it’s my cousin’s wedding period from this Saturday to Monday. And probably not the following Saturday too, because I’ll be catching Mr Tao at his showcase. Really sorry. You can slaughter me in any way you like.

OMG I'm going to see David Tao Live!

It was a great pity Mel couldn’t make it yesterday, because we had planned this surprise party earlier for her convenience. Anyway, we bought flowers for Fleur and a card (sorry your big prezzie is with Mel!). And then we went shopping for my top, and was arguing with Fleur on the way there… Haiz, as usual… And I finally bought the Taiwan version of David Tao’s new album, The Great Leap 2005, with the ticket to his exclusive showcase 2 Saturdays later. Presently, I’m searching for someone I know who has that ticket and is keen on going too, so I don’t have to stand alone in the crowd. OMG I can’t believe it I’m going to see David Tao Live!!!!!

Am I pissed or am I pissed

I don’t get the fuss about appointing student councilors. I mean, all they do is get people to throw their own names in and make the people do a vote, and that’s it. I mean, aren’t there some basic qualities that make a councilor? It’s like, we have people who obviously think too highly of themselves, and are appealing for people to vote for them. I’ll say, over my dead body will I do that. Truthfully, I DO want to be a councilor, and I’m not shunning that fact. But all I see for myself will be a life-long commitment to serving the council, and fail all my subjects. It’s like, if I were taking 3 subjects, I would definitely count myself in to this kind of stuff to push myself to the limit. But to jeopardize my studies? Pay me.

And I would like to express my utter displeasure about someone supposedly-respectable, which I can no longer hold back. When I first got to know him, I thought he would probably be the very few people whom I would look up to and give me the drive to do my best at everything. But I was everything but right. Now, we (those people who know him) are being treated like familiar strangers to him, and we all feel quite disappointed about his attitude towards us, except for me. In my eyes, he sucks. Yes, listen up. He sucks, and he will suck until the day he gives some recognition to the people who have spent the first 3 months with him. Yes, I guess that we have faulted in some ways or another, but how can 17-year-olds like us understand what you actually feel, when you do joke with us sometimes , too. We thought, you can be the someone we relate to when we tell others about the enjoyable times I spent with my class in the first 3 months. But now, when people ask about my first 3 months, I say, ‘don’t ever talk about it.’

Last but not least, I salute Aik Leng’s decision to tear up his appeal form. I guess you knew how much we love you.

Selfishness can sometimes be lethal

I have been pia-ing homework for the past few days, so common sense tells you that I have absolutely no time to blog. My day was apparently full for Wednesdays and Thursdays… Sad… Almost got myself killed during PC yesterday, while running under the scorching sun at 10 in the morning. Killer heat. And yes, we had yoga yesterday. It was damn relaxing, especially after a hard day in school, it kept my brain working for extra hours past my bedtime to finish up homework. Except for the fact that we had to endure the stench of feet that had stunk in the previous sessions in the ‘well-lit, ventilated’ room, as well as the feet of the people who are stinking at that very moment. Shame on those schools which do not offer yoga, cuz we do!!!

And people, if you do feel the itch to open your mouths and insult other schools, just as what Mr Ng said, slap yourself, because the wind happened to blow these sort of stuff into my ears and I’m a total expert at catching such stuff. Like the guy at the bus stop at Jurong West street 41 at 4.09pm, I heard EVERYTHING you said about my school. Yes, each and every minute detail of your conversation with the girl sitting next to you. For your kind reference, I’m the girl standing just a few feet from you, feeling all disgusted about your behavior. You’re such a disappointment to the guys. You should just go castrate and be a girl if you like to gossip so much. Watch out.

By the way, my class is in danger of welcoming a violence-prone classmate from another class, all thanks to Aik Leng, because of his insistence on swooping classes with that guy. It became such a big hoo-ha that everyone’s questioning the personality of the new guy. And what is Mr Teo’s analogy for this action of his which is going to cause future terror for the rest of the 23 of us in class? All because of his beloved Lulu. Yes, I know you’re going to defend yourself by saying that you’re not gay and it’s because most of your friends are in the other class. I don’t care, or rather, the class doesn’t give a damn about that reason. But our only reason to keep you is that we’d rather have you in our class than some Godzilla-to-be, although you can be irritating at times. But we do appreciate you and treat you as a friend and we treasure you, and besides, can you ever bear to enjoy yourself at the expense of others? I don’t care if you’re an MCP, or an empty vessel, but noise can sometimes be constructive. So pls do consider carefully. Note: this is not a plea and I am not (ever) going to beg you to stay. The decision is entirely up to you.

Nervous Wreck like me

I actually thought that my cousin’s wedding would be tomorrow. Lolz… I’m such a bad living example of a cousin. Went for lunch at Marché Suntec. I don’t see why people have to always choose that place for gatherings. The food’s expensive, the food is all local stuff, all the stuff can be found right in my fridge, the smoked salmon tasted like salted salmon and the greatest disappointment would be the cheesecake. It’s just not sinful enough to be called a cheesecake. Then I dropped by some other place to get clothes for my cousin’s wedding, and was panicking when I couldn’t find a top to match the skirt (haha perhaps the first time you heard me wear a skirt) I spotted. Then my mum was like, “why are you rushing? You still have a week!” and I was like, “why didn’t you tell me that earlier? Then I won’t have to look like a nervous wreck rushing around the 4-storey building.” Poor me. Anyway, I’ll try and post a photo of my suit because it’ll be quite a break-through, even I myself is looking forward to it.

Studying is never fun

Can anyone believe it? I actually forgot to bring my phone to school twice in 4 days, and some record that is. In both cases, I actually painstakingly brought my phone out to the dining room so that I’ll (hopefully) spot it and bring it to school. Instead, it laid on the dining table from 6.45am to 3.30pm, when I came back. My poor phone.

Homework is piling up, and so is my anxiety. I’m going okay with Chemistry and Math, but as usual my Physics is trying to hang me. Crap.

Homework for today:
1. Chemistry Tutorial 1 Challenging Questions
2. Chemistry Tutorial 2
3. Math Tutorial 6 questions 1-5
4. MTA Compo
5. GP 3 essay questions

Okay that’s it. I surrender. I’ll go study.

Murder!

The school has absolutely no idea how big a tech-phob I am. They just had to make us register for our PC courses, Games, get notes etc from there. It's like, hello, less than 1% of the globe's population knows how to switch on a computer, let alone access stuff and download them and all the shit. And they love to make the system hang, so that we, the pathetic students, would have to crawl to them and beg them to allow us to take this certain sport or course. What a sinister conspiracy...

And my grandma attepted to contemplate murder by placing her slippers stratigically in the middle of the door to my room. And big old fat and clumsy me had to trip over that thang not once, but twice. Luckily, I escaped death both times, suffering nothing but a little yelling from my grandma for kicking her slippers out of place twice. Poor old me.

Ironic as it is, I love Physics

Tuesday has been officially proclaimed (by me, that is) as Be Kind to Physics Day. The simple and logical answer is because I’ve got 4 hours of Physics on Tuesdays. The teachers seem to be hiding the death element in my timetable. Plus, I’m ending around 4pm from Mondays to Thursdays, with the exception of Fridays being the CCA days. Hello?! What’s the use of greeting ‘Thank you teacher’ at the end of each lesson when this is what you get for being exclusively nice to them? And Mr Ng had to pick the right day (which was today) to teach metaphors, similes, personification, analogy and ironies…
Fleur was exceptionally *peed on© today. Perhaps she’s been hit by some mutated paranoia bug, because she was getting herself pissed off every lecture. Some poor sacrificial sheep got scorched by her temper during Physics lecture for kindly requesting her to move down the row, and that poor sheep had to by a classmate we got to know 29 hours ago. Nice move to make your JC life hell. (*peed on= a self-invented word. Since people could say pissed off, I’ll put a nice finishing touch to its cousin. Copyright reserved.)

What a GREAT day

My Sunday was wreaked because of some stupid request to eat pancakes for breakfast, even though we’ve already had pancakes for breakfast yesterday. It’s like, hello, that stupid bitch had no fucking idea on how to mix the pancake flour, how to fry it or how to flip it. And she just fucking stood there like some dumb moron. So my Dad came and pour the stuff into a bowl and I came to add some water and do a little stirring. The stupid bitch had to lose her temper at that instant (because she claimed that we never gave her a chance to do whatever she wanted to do) so I asked her to take over from there. And she diao me. WTF. Then my mum came and yelled at me for all the din and she was like, ‘Don’t cook don’t cook throw away…’ I was like, ‘WTF lorz…’ So either ways I still get myself killed. But I concluded that I should not have a starving match with those goons so I fried up all the pancakes and ate them. Simple. Anyway I haven’t got a lot of time to go against that bunch of nuisance. Like I haven’t got enough… These people just love to make my life hell. I hate that. I told myself that when I’ve had enough, I’ll pack my stuff and stow away to Mel’s house. (You won’t mind, right? You need some company and a free maid anyway.) Welcome to my life.