Swear I could have cried no less

From me:
Hi chenwee this is chou. Sorry to send the e-mail so late cus i just logged on today. I know i owe you more than just a couple of apology and favours and reasons and answers.
First, i'm truely sorry bout the toilet incident cus i know it did bring alot of discomfort and displeasure staying at your house. I really wanted to clean up the whole mess on Saturday but you guys were going out and i had to rush to my guitar lessons. i'm truely sorry and i deeply regretted it.
And I do owe your family an apology too. Really sorry about it that you got scolded by ur ma and your sis. i guess there's got to be something that i could do to make up to it. I dun mind getting scolded by your family cus i think that i truely deserve it so if they really wanna give me a railing just tell me. Lastly, if your toilet is still that dirty, you can ring me up to ask me to clean it. Last but not least, sorry for my irresponsible act that got you into such deep shit. P.S: I dun mind cleaning your whole house for ya. Just open your mouth and tell me.
from chenwee:
heh...actually it was nothing . i was just overreacting lah...dont take it to heart...it was quite fun having to clean up the toilet...about the toilet thing i have already forgotten about it already lah...don't take it to heart....U R NOT AT FAULT LAH!!!
ok????

When I received this e-mail this afternoon i almost burst into tears myself and didn't believe the world anymore. I thought he would say something like "You better do what you promised", not something like "I enjoyed cleaning the toilet anyway". I swore I could have lapsed into depression that very moment cus i finally realised that my only enemy in the world is myself. Even others could forgive me, yet i cannot do so to myself. I thought that all along I have been played with by other people, but little did I realise that the mastermind was me. If there was something that i could do now that would be to say a big sorry in front of chen wee in person cus I owe him more than i can repay. I AM TRUELY SORRY

Trashing day

Haiz… The holidays are finally here. No need to put up with quarrels and spills and all that kinda stuff anymore. Was just rummaging through my computer when I dug up some real interesting dialogues I had on the MSN and as I read through, I feel so… stupid. Stupid for quarreling over such minor stuff. Stupid for thinking that I was the wrong one. But I was, for a moment. Since the class camp is coming, guess I’ll use that as a summer holiday before enjoying my St.John camp. Ooh, it’s raining. The sky looks the prettiest when it rains. If only it’d rain everyday, from morning till night. Totally looking forward to the future. All the fun, enjoyment, and I no longer need to hang myself on ends with spastic stuff.